I’m talking to you. Yes YOU. You can accomplish anything you want. REALLY. Contrary to popular beliefs. Even contrary to your past experiences that have taught you otherwise. And I’m committed to your success in the ‘anything’ you choose.
So what is your ‘anything’ at this moment? That thing you’ve been wishing for and desiring? That thing you’ve dreamed of? Perhaps you’ve even made plans to accomplish it. Or you’ve even already tried and failed before. Get really clear for me right now – what is your ‘anything’?
Ok, next tell me why you’re choosing that? What about it causes you to want to overcome whatever’s stopped you from having it before? What makes this ‘anything’ so important for you?
I’ve been spending a lot of brain power on trying to figure out why I haven’t launched this blog, launched my personal development program online or launched my online biz tech training program. I’ve done a lot of work to create them. I’ve dreamed up great ideas. I’ve taken courses, read book after book, and know all kinds of expert ideas about how to blog, teach, develop personally, and create online business systems that work. Yet I’ve not actually accomplished what I really wanted, which was to teach other people how to do these things that are so powerful and have done so much for me personally. So I ask myself why. What makes it so important for me?
My initial responses (as they have been most of my adult life) are very logical, analytical. I have all kinds of wonderfully succinct reasons (read: excuses) as to why I didn’t actually accomplish those passions and purposes in my life yet.
Reasons Excuses like “I’m not quite ready”, “I don’t know enough yet”, and “There are a few more little things I need to do first”. I’ve been living on these excuses for the past year. What I wasn’t really looking at or being honest with myself was the underlying cause for these “reasons”.
In chapter 2 of Tony Robbins’ book Awaken the Giant Within, he challenged me completely. These logical and rational reasons for not taking action on the things that matter most are just a big coverup for my emotional reasons hiding just beneath them. As Tony writes it, it all boils down to pain and pleasure in our lives, or more accurately to what we PERCEIVE will cause us pain or pleasure. Our perceptions are based on past experiences we’ve had or others have told us about. So while I think I’m being logical and smart, I’m really just buying some time to avoid the pain that I believe is inherent in taking these actions.
Ok – so what is this perceived pain I’m avoiding by not launching my blog, sharing my vision and offering programs to help others connect, learn and grow through my experiences? The biggest pain that jumped to mind for me was REJECTION. I am deathly afraid of being rejected, being called a fraud, a failure, of losing the love and respect and admiration of my communities of love and support around me. Somewhere in my past, I made a connection between “imperfection and failure” with “loss of love and acceptance”. And know this: Loss of love and acceptance definitely equals PAIN – so I’ve avoided imperfection and the failure I believe imperfection causes. Therefore to avoid this pain, I’ve avoided sharing what matters most to me with the world – MY TRUTH (in all its imperfection) and its ability connect and share love and encouragement with YOU. Just spelling it out like that got me to begin realizing how horribly broken my beliefs are around sharing MY TRUTH with you.
Taking the next step, I got clear about what short-term pleasure I gained by not taking action, by not sharing my truth with you. I got to play it safe. I got to remain feeling loved and admired and respected by talking about how bravely I was going to do something SOMEDAY. You know, someday when I know enough to get it all out there perfectly so I don’t fail and you don’t think I’m a fraud and yadda yadda yadda.
Then it got real: What will it cost me if I don’t change and how do I feel about that? Ouch. If I’m really honest with myself, it will cost me EVERYTHING that matters most to me. All I want to do in this world is share my experiences, share what I’ve learned and the wisdom I’ve gleaned, in a way that actually makes a difference for you – in a way that empowers you to take new, bigger and bolder steps in your life, to grant you new freedom and possibility to create something in your life that really matters to you. I want you to experience not just a life of achievement, but one of fulfillment. And if I don’t do that for you, then I will never have done it for myself – for I find my fulfillment in you finding yours! And therein lies the long-term pleasure. When I take action on this now and consistently going forward, I rewire my pain and pleasure perceptions – because as I experience fulfilling what matters most to me, the deeper pleasure of actually connecting and sharing love with you will completely wipe out any sensation of that short-term pleasure called “safety”.
Alright – so back to YOUR ‘anything’ and how to accomplish it. Answer these questions clearly and honestly for yourself: What pain are you avoiding by not taking action and doing what it takes to accomplish/have it? What is the short-term pleasure you gain by avoiding that pain? What will it cost you if you don’t change and how does that feel inside you? What is the pleasure you will experience for having TAKEN ACTION NOW?
Seriously. Re-wire your pain and pleasure perceptions in your brain today.
You CAN accomplish ANYTHING.
At any time.
* Photo courtesy of Emma Joy Photography
Also published on Medium.